Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize