I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
