You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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