Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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