I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
