I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
