What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
