I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
