It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
