remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize