Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
