For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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