Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
