my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
