some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
