it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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