I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize