Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
