Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
