I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
