She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
