That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
