My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
