I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
