yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize