went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
