She's JV to your varsity
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
