I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
