Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
