I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
