This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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