its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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