My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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