But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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