I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
