You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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