Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
