She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
