Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
