At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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