Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
