"it" just moved
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
