i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
