Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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