I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
