Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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