RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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