Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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