so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
