I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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