Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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