no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
