I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
