wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
