I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
