Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
