Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
