I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
