She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
