I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
