I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
