Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
