plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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