Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
