I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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