I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
