i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
