Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
