I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize