he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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