She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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