I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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