11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Vodka?
Forever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
