i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
