My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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