Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
