My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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