Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Someone came in the potted fern
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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