Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
