he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
