brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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