I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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