I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
